I just got back from a month of work crew at Younglife's beautiful Malibu Club in British Columbia. The first question everybody who I have talked to since I've been back is: what did you learn? And I learned so much. I learned how to fold a fitted sheet, I learned how to use an industrial strength washing machine, I learned that even though you can use a dust pan with one person, a buddy always makes it more fun, I learned that Taylor Swift Tuesdays are a necessity in breaking up the mundanity of constant work, I learned how to do the Cupid Shuffle, I learned that it is impossible to make hospital corners on a top bunk without moving the mattress to the floor, I learned that you need to take time to appreciate beauty and when you don't it slaps you in the face, I learned that there is nothing more repulsive than pulling hair out of shower drains, and I learned that there is nothing more special than friendships drenched in honesty, respect, and love, and I learned, most importantly, that God loves me. The fact that God loves me sounds so elementary and it is. I grew up going to church and every Sunday morning we would sing "Jesus loves me this I know" and I knew it. I knew that He loved me and I knew the verse that told me He did (John 3:16), but my heart is fleeting and I forgot. This year has been one of the hardest years of my life. Bad things happened to me and I made bad things happen to myself and those bad things pushed me away from Jesus. But the beautiful thing about Jesus is that He had me in the palm of his hand the whole time. When I got to Malibu I wanted to leave. Everyone was praising a God I wasn't familiar with anymore and I wasn't opening up to anyone. If Work Crew had just been a week, I would have been able to be stubborn through it and come home unchanged. But over the course of a month Jesus broke me down. He made me show my new friends the things that had hurt me and He knew that they would love me through it. He gave me older people to speak wisdom and inspiration into my life. He made me fall in love with him again.
Psalm 40: 1-4
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.
But I want to be super clear on two points. First, it wasn't Malibu. It wasn't the place. Jesus used Malibu to get to me, but he could have used my bedroom or my school or my campaigners group. He loves me enough to give me that experience and amazing friends and use the place and the people to change me. Second, it's not over yet. I am still broken and I will still be broken for the rest of my life, but I need to surrender my brokenness to my God every single day and He will use my brokenness for His Greater Good and that is all I can ask for and that hope is all I need.
